Living beautifully for Him

Release

2011-01-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

I was able to see my sweet friend, Kristi, just a few days before she was welcomed into the arms of her Saviour. 10 weeks from diagnosis to death, exactly 4 months shy of her 40th birthday...

Due to the gracious generosity of my friend Susan, we packed my 4 kids and her 3 kids and drove 8 hours to Florida. Susan went with her friends to stay in St. Augustine while I stayed with my friends Will and Gail. I was thrilled to meet their new addition, Carter, who is 4 months old. We arrived on a Thursday and on Friday, I was able to leave my 4 with my friend Angie, who we knew in Spain, so I could go and sit with Kristi for a couple of hours. The military sure makes this world a small place! (Actually, little side note, the day Angie had her son, was the day I found out I was pregnant with Aidan.)

I have never known peace until I stepped foot into Kristi's home. I don't even know what I was expecting but I almost had to catch my breath when I was there. It was amazing. There is a verse in Genesis that says "what an awesome place this is, it is none other that the gateway to heaven." That is the only way I can describe their home. There is something incredible about being around people who love the Lord so much and are trusting Him in every way imaginable with this precious life, and knowing that she is on Heaven's doorstep. I felt as those I was on the brink of Heaven just by being in the home. It was breathtaking...what an Awesome God we serve.

I knew that she would look sick but I was not prepared one bit when I saw her. Her hair was gone and her peaches n'cream complexion was grey. She had labored breathing and was on an automatic pump for pain. The only way I knew she recognised me was when I came in, she held her arms open and when I hugged her she whispered "Shea-Shea" which is what she always caled me. I just sat in that quiet peaceful home and stared at her while she slipped in and out of consciousness. My mom had prayed right before I got there that God would bind my fleshly emotions and that I would emulate the fruits of the Spirit that would be good for Kristi. I am so glad that she prayed that because it would have been so hard otherwise.

Before I got there, I was trying to figure what I could do for her. I'm not so good in the gift giving thing and all of the sudden, God told me to wash her feet and annoint them with oil. He gave me the time to do that and it was such an honor and a blessing and just an incredible experience. I realised, when looking at Kristi's face, I could see the reflection of Christ in her face. I have never been so close to death and yet...never felt so close to God.

When we left on Sunday (early, due to weather), I was able to stop by briefly. Aidan made a beeline for her, crawled right up onto her bed and just held her and told her how much he loved her. It was precious. Mattea held her hand and kissed it.

She passed then on Tuesday, the 11th. 950 people attended her memorial...and amazing tribute to Kristi and the Lord she served.

4 Kids = Never know what you are gonna get!

2010-12-23T18:26:00.000-08:00

It is tough getting 4 kids to look and smile at the same time. Mattea liked it best because she said she looked like a present!

I have a confession. I'm extremely insecure posting pictures on here because of all you fab photogs out there. Silly, yes, but there it is! I will be putting pictures on here so make sure each of you talented people (you know who you are) make lovely comments about how beautiful my children are and not mention ANYTHING ELSE!

Have Your Way

2010-12-22T14:28:00.000-08:00

Feels like i`ve been here forever,

Why can`t you just intervene?

Do you see the tears keep falling?

And i`m falling apart at the seams.

But you never said the road would be easy,

But you said that you would never leave.

And you never promised that this life wasn`t hard,

But you promised you`d take care of me.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And I`ll trust you,God, with where i am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.Just have your way.

When my friends and my family have left me,

And I feel so ashamed and so cold.

Remind me that you take broken things

And turn them into beautiful.

So I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,

And believe that you`ll have your way.

Just have your way.

Even if my dreams have died,

And even if i don`t survive,

I`ll still worship you with all my life.

My life.

And I`ll stop searching for the answers,

I`ll stop praying for an escape,

And i`ll trust you, God, with where i am,

And believe that you will have your way.

Just have your way.Just have your way.

I know you will.I won`t forget.

Whoa-ohYou love me.Have your way.

I could probably say this is applicable to my life at this very moment and in some ways, I suppose it is. Is it not reflective of where so many of us are on sometimes even a day to day basis? But no...not about me...for a friend.

My friend is dying of stomach cancer. There...I said it. It seems so harsh but the reality is that only God knows how much longer she will live. Kristi is 39, a wife of one, mother of 3, and a beloved child of the most High King. Long story short, we used to joke about her "stomach pains," blaming them on (and laughing about) gas pains and if she was a real woman she would know how to "fluff" and make them go away. A painfully few months ago, upon returning from a church plant in Zimbabwae, she became very bloated and after being admitted to the hospital, was drained of 7 liters of fluid from her stomach. It was cancer and even worse, the cancer cells were in the fluid which was freely floating around in her abdominal cavity. Fast forward to today, her husband posted that she is no longer able to withstand chemo at this point. Because her main source of nutrition is from IVs, chemo is out of the question. As soon as her pain can be controlled, they are sending her home.

Kristi's heart is the biggest I have ever known. She would literally give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. Probably even if you didn't need it and just liked it. No, really! Now, to see and hear her like this is one of the most painful things I have experienced and yet, how selfish am I? This darling woman is dying and yet I'm the one in need of comfort? Through it all, she has prayed not for her healing but for God's will in her life. When I spoke to her today, for the first time, I heard her weep, "Shea, I want to live!" Oh God~I can't even begin to understand.

This morning when I read about her most recent prognosis, I called my mom in tears, at 445 am her time, nonetheless...she's such a good Mommy, she just prayed with me. One of the things she prayed was that all of Satan's minions that would be causing Kristi pain would be cast from her and that those interceding on her behalf would stand in the gap, filling the broken places in the hedge surrounding Kristi. Later when I spoke to Kristi she said this morning, she woke up in such pain, that she believed it only to be demonic. She started to feel relief right when my mom was praying for her! I didn't even think to pray for her in this manner, and yet it was exactly what she needed, and God led my mom to pray that for her. I'm so humbled by Him!

I know Kristi wants to live. Her family wants her to live. However I know that they live wanting God's will ahead of their own. That I would learn from their steadfast faith. Please be in prayer for them. You can follow their blog http://hopeforkristi.typepad.com/.

Update

2010-06-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Figured I would share a bit of what has been happening in the Winter's household. First of all, without irking any of my all natural ladies out there, I had to go on anti-depressants shortly after Cayd was born. For those of you who have never suffered from PPD, it is a seaky sneaky thing! I couldn't function. My poor children were probably petrified of me, not to mention my husband! Breathing was literally painful. I could not stop crying. My sweet friend Amy finally told me one day that she was very concerned and thought I should call the dr who IMMEDIATLY put me on something. I promise, withing 24 hours, I was a different person. I'm still on them and will be for awhile. I'm a much happier, gentle, kinder person. I'm able to deal with things the way I "should" be able to and things, like my OCD with cleaning, is also under control. I share this because I know God had something coming at us. :)
www.apexsportsacademy.com
A few weeks ago my husband quiet his job. ***DEEP BREATH*** Yeah. It had actually come down to a quit or be fired scenario. Buddy, honestly, did nothing to deserve this but it was a blessing in a very scary disguise. With his job he was on call 24/7. He could NEVER be w/out his phone and his company would call in the middle of the night, mid of church, middle of ANYTHING. It was a huge stress factor. Plus they could send him out of town at a moments notice for how ever long they determined. I think we were all a bit more stressed then we thought. They paid very well and so it was very much paid slavery. They had just pushed him to the limit. Of course through all this, I prayed desperatly. I wanted to support my husband. In a sense, he was begging me for "permission" to quit. Of course, I was so scared because, hello! Finances! And how was he ever going to find a job paying that sort of money around here. God very kindly revealed my gluttony though and reminded me of how much He loved us. When Buddy actually quit, he looked like a different person. He was so happy!!

We have enough $$ to last us until mid July or so. Its incredible how little one can live on under extreme circumstances. Buddy has been "working" at a sports academy called APEX that he actually had a hand in starting. Its really neat and he has felt God calling him to be there full time. Of course, seeing that its just starting out, its pretty much a "just bills paid" deal. Not that I'm complaining. AND he's getting ready to start something called Combat Cardio which has a very MMA feel to it. In other words...I'm happy living on NOTHING because my husband is doing what God is calling him to do. Its CRAZY but it works. I was worried about insurance but for now my kids are covered under Alabama AllKids.

We have been so blessed too! I'm surrounded by friends who know exactly what I'm going through. And the other day when I received our bill for our lawn care (which I had cancelled because we couldn't afford it), they had written a "no charge" for the last month and wished us luck. What a blessing. I'm just amazed at how much less cluttered life feels right now. I never realised how good it felt to be so dependent on God. I'm thrilled to see where God is leading our family. I love it here!

Thanks for listening to my rant!!!!!

Cayd Aaron Winters

2010-05-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

I was due with Cayd on March 11th (Aidan's bday) but that day came and went and nothing. March 12th dawned....and nothing. We ran errands and that night around 7 I was texting a friend begging her to bring me more blue kohosh and settling in for another sleepless night. All of a sudden, (and I mean all of a sudden) I got hit with a GIGORMOUS contraction. I looked at my mom and said, "OWWWWWWWWW!" She laughed and jokingly asked where Buddy was and I told her I had no idea, possibly Tae Kwon Do. Anyway, not too much longer there came another one and I realised I had skipped all the normal first stages of labor and it was ON. I desperatly texted my 2 besties and husband telling them in not so much nice language it was time and asked where the bleep were they. I finally got ahold of Buddy and told him that I was in labor and we needed to go NOW. He came flying in a few minutes later but I had changed my mind and decided I wanted to stay home. He took one look at me and said that I didn't have a choice, that we were leaving. The drive only took 10 minutes. I hit the ground running, bolting into the delivery room (my nurse had called and prepared them, letting them know I was a quick deliver and so they skipped triage and put me in a room right away) grabbing the gown and pee cup and hit the bathroom. I stipped dwn and jumped on the bed in less than a minute. My goal was to labor naturally and I was desperatly willing my body to relax so I could get it over with and not cave to an epidural. Later my friends said that while I was in the bathroom, the nurse asked how many times I had done this before and they laughingly told her 3.

They hooked me up and my contractions were strong, consitent, at 3 min apart and almost 1 1/2 min long. I was at a 5-6 cent dilated. My friend Sarah was acting as my doula and she had brought a scented burts bees eye mask so I laid there and pretended I was somewhere else. I was doing great and my dr came in and broke my water. Then the problems started. When she broke my water, Cayd didn't come down. So they watched for a little longer and she checked me and I was at and 8. I, of course, at this point threw up. One of the lovely things I do with all my labors at 8 ctm. While she was checking me, I dilated to 9. Then my room started filling with nurses and drs. Cayd's heartrate had started dipping dangerously low. So they "encouraged me" to get an epidural. I questioned this, seeing I was at 9 and they asked me if I even felt the urge to push. I said no and relised that at 9 ctm I should have the urge. So I consented. (I will say this, if I had known I would have such an efficient anestisologist (SP) I would have had one before I walked in the door.) My dr checked again and she felt his elbow coming out. I asked if she could just push it back in and she said no. She said then that we needed to consider Plan B. I told her I didnt have a plan B and she yes I did and that was an emergency csection.

I asked if Buddy and I could have a moment and they all left. He told me it was the best thing because unbeknowst to me Cayd had been struggling with his heartrate for awhile. Icried and called my mom who prayed and then the dr was back and saying we had to go IMMEDIATLY. I was so frightened! The trip to the operating room is a blur but I will say that the staff was awesome. I just laid there staring at those lights trying to grasp what was going on. It happened so fast. By the time Buddy came in and sat down, we heard Cayd cry. He was noosed up in his cord but was healthy at 7lbs 10oz and 21 in long and was born at 1150 pm. Recovery was insanely painful.

Looking back I'm so thankful I didn't stay home any longer. I was proud of myself for laboring naturally but thankful I was not stubborn in the end. I have a healthy baby boy to show for it and my family is complete!

Happy 6th Bday Aidan!

2010-03-11T04:27:00.001-08:00

The day I welcomed you into the world was long and painful to say the least! I was never so unprepared as I was for becoming a mom. You definitly shook us up! You had your own idea on how much babies cry (hours and hours sounded fine to you), how much babies slept (in your case, how little), and what exactly you expected from us (only the world). I remember watching other people walk by our house in Spain and thinking how normal their life was compared to mine. I was definitly a mess.

HOWEVER. The miracle of it all is you, Son. You have taken on the role of first born in ways I never thought imaginable. I love to hear your voice as you scold your younger siblings on "the right way to behave." Your need to take care of "Mama Bear" is so strong. So strong that you willingly get up with Zane, bring him out to the living room and feed him, when he decides 530 is perfect time to get up in the morning. Oh, and always tacking on "I know you had a rough night Mom, so I thought you needed some more sleep." God bless you child!

Aidan is certainly a blessing, as all children are. I'm amazed at how firstborn's find their niche in being just that, the firstborn. He wouldn't be happy in any other role. Happy Happy Happy Birthday Aidan!!!

**on a side note...yes I'm still pregnant and yes I'm due today. Aidan really wants a new baby brother for is his birthday so please be in prayer for us**

Is it really Tuesday again?

2009-11-10T10:44:00.001-08:00

1.) I should be making my lunch and eating it instead of sitting here doing this. But I do enjoy reading everyone else's and they make me feel so much better. (Heidi~I have no idea why we have SO MUCH laundry.)

2.) I'm sorry to say this, and I hope not to offend anyone, but I really hate our dog. No really. Hate is the word I intended to use. She managed to bring fleas into our house this summer. Long story short, it took MONTHS before we were through and I could finally relax and not want to just torch the house...considering its brick, think about how much TNT I would have to use! Anyway, she can now jump over our fence and does it whenever she wants to. She knows I can't physically drag her stupid but back in there so she stays just out of reach. Buddy won't let me get rid of her. Good thing I'm a christian and an honest one at that or else he might come home one day and she would be GONE. Dogs that jump out get picked up, don't they. If I take her tags off and she isn't microchiped....who would know? I'm not going to do that but there are DAYS!

3.) I was just so excited yesterday because the kids were being so sweet and studious. Then today happened. Yuck. They all made me so frustrated. I think its the rain. Oh well...at least they are napping now!

4.) Mattea likes to blow kisses to us and we have to "catch" them. We do it back and she is always so elaborate in her ways of catching them. Yesterday, I blew her a kiss and when she "caught" it, she "broke" it. She look and me as she tucked "half" in her pocket she said, "I'm going to save this one for later. " So cute!

5.) My good friend Sarah, who is going to act as my doula during labor, is knitting me a prayer shawl. She said it should help me get through labor. I think her original idea of waving the check book in my face will be reminder enough of why an epidural free birth is so important!

6.) As much as I'm enjoying being home so much, I am really beginning to miss church. I feel as though I haven't been properly fed in so long!

7.) I can't believe Zane is turing 2 on Monday! I mean, I believe it because he is certainly exhibiting "2" behavior however, isn't he the BABY??

8.) I'm actually really hungry at this point. I make all our cream soups homemade now and I'm thinking cream of mushroom sounds so good. I made some yummy Irish Soda Bread yesterday and that would be great with that.

9.) Celestial Season makes a SleepyTime Plus tea...it has valerian in it. It is amazing. Not only do you get the chamomile (SP), but you get the extra boost. I slept so good last night!

10.) Why do our young people view Veterans Day as simply a day "they don't have to go to school"? I have noticed on FB that a majority of teens and even some college have this point of view. Its really sad. I don't like it.

10 on Tuesday (k~actually its Wednesday)

2009-11-04T05:32:00.000-08:00

*I borrowed this from Terah since I really need to be on here!*

1.) I'm really looking forward to having another boy. I absolutly adore having a daughter but boys (at least my boys) are so much easier than Mattea has been. Oh, his name will be Cayd Aaron.

2.) I'm amazed that God has helped me organize me time. Our dishwasher is broken and we won't be getting another quite yet. (You know, the whole pay cash for it thing.) I now have to keep up with washing dishes, cooking everything from scratch (think cream of mushroom/chicken/celery soups for baking), doing one load of laundry a day, and schooling. You know what though? It totally works and I can only lift my eyes to heaven and praise God.

3.) We are putting our house on the market in January or so. God is calling us to move to Idaho and so having a house to sell when the time comes to move will be just one less thing to worry about. I'm praying since we operate on God's economy rather than man's, that things will go smoothly. Never been a seller before and its pretty scary!

4.) We haven't been to church in awhile because Buddy wanted us to avoid getting sick. Its working but I sure miss the fellowship! It was tough to bite my tongue on that one and submit to my husband, although I knew and understood his reasoning behind it. In all honesty though, we have enjoyed being homebodies!

5.) I realised yesterday that I'm 20 days behind with Aidan in ABeka. Oops. He doesn't care and I know we will catch up somehow but it matters to me, just a little. He is doing great though. He loves school.

6.) They opened a new sushi place here in Gadsden and we love it!!! The kids are so happy, especially Aidan. Its funny how something like that will make me like it here a little bit more.

7.) Just realised as I was leaning back in exasperation because I'm only on #7 and can't think of ANYTHING else to say, that there are cobwebs on my ceiling. Just when I was feeling accomplished!

8.) Loves it when my kids can tell when I'm having a moment and tell me to simply "pray about it." God love 'em for that! Its always perfectly timed.

9.) Love that our measly little winter seems to be finally upon us. Sort of. I'm looking forward to decorating this year. Zane was in everything last year so this year its ON!

10.) Pheww! Thank goodness! I am trying to remember to affirm my husband everyday. Yesterday it was to tell him how much I appreciate being able to stay home with my children rather than have to work. I take it for granted sometimes and I'm really trying not to!

Expecting...

2009-07-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

......A 4th bundle of joy! Yes, it is true. Buddy and I just found out we are having another baby. This has been with a lot of prayer and consideration. Some of you may know that Aidan and Mattea were both VERY planned but Zane was not, by us anyway. I felt done with 2 and a 3rd was tough, although life wouldn't be as fun without Zane. But, being done with 2, having a surprise 3rd, I definatly wasn't thinking about a 4th! Well, God never let me say "I'm never having more," obviously because He had plans. Buddy, of course, wants a whole houseful. So, yesterday I took the test and lo and behold, it was positive. I go Monday to the doctor. Apparently, sometime this month, my husband and I happened to be in the same room or something, because 1 month was all it took. We have never understood "trying." (Thank God) So.....that is what is going on. I will be excited, right now I am still in shock. Blessings!

Such a sad day.

2009-06-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I realised my wedding ring was lost. I had put it in a glass jewlery box on my dresser Friday night around midnight as I was coming down with the flu. I didn't even think about it until yesterday morning when I went to put it on. We believe that our 3 year old daughter, Mattea, took it and lost it. She says she touched it but doesn't know where it is. I called Buddy hysterical and he came home from work to help search for it and to try and get answers from the children. The day was long but beneficial~I got a lot of cleaning and organizing done. Last night though, I sat to read my Bible and to collect my thoughts on the day and rubbing my burning, swollen eyes, I realised something.

My sad day was not from the loss of my ring, although the pain of it was truelly horrible. The pain is from my reaction. I have always strived to teach my children that our possessions are Gods; everything we have is because of Him; one day, its all going to burn anyway; your worth is from God, not from things. I did nothing but prove to my children that mommy, at least yesterday, was a big fat liar. God dealt "harshly" with me this morning when reading
ICorinthians 3:12-23. The general idea is that Paul is talking about whether a man builds his foundation of gold, silver, costly stones (MY DIAMOND), etc, his work will be shown when put through the fire, testing the quality of it. If what he builds, survives, he gets his reward and if it burns, he suffers the loss. I was the one suffering a loss, not of the ring but of a battle. I succumbed to my failings as a sinner and allowed Satan to deceive me into thinking that I was less of a person because I didn't have my beautiful ring. My possessions were more important than the fact that its all GODS! He then goes on to talk about our bodies being the temple and then on to those who think they are wise. At this point, I really thought I couldn't take anymore. I have always "prided" myself on how I handle things. Well, this one was for me because I became (or realised that I was) a FOOL.

I mishandled everything yesterday. My hurt and anger toward my 3 year old. My weeping. My pride in my possession. I pray that the Holy Spirit give me the words to give my kids. I pray that they are able to learn from my mistake of putting too much value on something material. I never want my kids, especially my daughter, to think that their worth lies in "costly stones" but know that their worth comes in their salvation, as does mine. I was uncontrollably weeping yesterday but for many of the wrong reasons. I compared the loss to loosing a loved one. How dare I? In the face of adversity I hand my children the wrong blueprint.

Oh the sad day we had yesterday. I pray today, that God puts a new song in my heart and on my lips. I have some damage to undo.

I just realised....

2009-05-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

I didn't really post pictures of Aidan!

Aidan and Payton after a game.

Aidan's cheesy grin...I love it!

Pictures

2009-05-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

Mattea loves to play "princess". What girl doesn't?
Zane was smelling the ball.

Monograming is HUGE in the south...I'm addicted!

Easter!

I know most of you are on FB or MS by here are some recent (a little) pictures. I always hate putting pictures up here because of all the photographers on here...its very intimidating! But hey....I do the best I can. :)

SO EXCITED!

2009-05-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I'M SO EXCITED! Next week I'm flying sans CHILDREN to Jacksonville, FL for our church's women's conference. Yes...I will be without 3 children...all by myself. That means sitting in an airport actually getting to look at people rather than pray they didn't see what my child just did to their luggage. I get to read a magazine and not wonder if one the kids has hitched a ride on the airport shuttle and is now headed to Hawaii (FUN!) without me. I get to sit in an airplane not caring how long we have to wait because one (or all) of my kids are FREAKING out and kicking seats and trying to get free and......well, you know. Now, I do have to mention that our children are very good world travelers, for the most part. They have their moments but usually traveling with them is a joy. However....I'M SO EXCITED!

Besides that...I'm looking forward to our churchs conference. A couple of the amazing women on the speaking list are Priscilla Shire and Holly Wagner. There are other great ones but these two are the one's I am particuarlly looking forward to hearing. It will be 3 days of worship and prayer and fellowship and ministering. I just get chills thinking about it. I get to see 3 of my BEST friends ever too! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Totally SQUEEELING.

Okay, I think I'm good now. I just had to share and I know all you moms out there know what a thrilling break is in my future. This will be the first time I have been away from my children for longer than day. I know Buddy can handle it (we have ALL our friends on standby), but it has always been me with the kids and him gone. The tables are turning and I'm nervous...but SO EXCITED. :) You get the picture!

Hmmmmm....

2009-04-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

Figured I would do a quick update. Knowing me, nothing is ever really quick. I'm so long-winded! Don't worry....I know it. :)

I have decided to not go back to school as originally planned. So once I'm done with the two classes I'm taking now, I'm done. After much prayer, I know that I would never be able to apply myself 100% to homeschooling if in the back of my mind, I'm worrying about homework and passing my own courses. I received all of Aidan's books for next year from ABEKA. He is going to be doing the video course which is actually online instead of the DVDs. That saved us a $100. Woohoo! Mattea will, of course, be using mostly Rod and Staff. I'm also going to a huge homeschool convention/book sale in Atlanta in May to stock up on some other items. I'm really excited. I do know that to create the environment that the kids need to help them enjoy learning, I have to be fully committed. I know now that I will be able to provide it. I'm very excited.

We have also been having some allergy trouble with Zane. He has always had little patches on his body and we thought it was just dry skin. Recently, within the last month or so, they have been getting really bad. I took him to a naturepath and she said that his immune system was very low and he was put on immunity boosters as well as Vitamin C. I also switched our laundry detergent and his lotion/bodywash. His skin was so sensitive that I also had to watch what everyone else was using. (Bye bye bath and bodyworks for me!! SNIFF.) We noticed a marked improvement and then it went downhill, fast. We returned from a mini-vaca in Gatlinburg, Tn and I started to notice the rash on the insides of his elbows, the backs of his knees, and the tops of his feet getting worse. By Sunday evening, the insides of his little arms were blistered up and oozing. He would also scratch at his arms and so he was an oozing bleeding mess. It was horrible and I felt helpless. At that moment, God spoke so clearly, and told me it was diet. Starting the next morning, I took him off of all wheat, dairy, eggs, gluten, etc...you get the picture. Within 24 hours, we noticed a marked difference. By the end of the week, it was pretty much gone. I took him to our regular doctor to make sure I was on the right path and he gave me a cream to clear up the rest. He said that it was a form of eczema but allergy related. Next week I will be starting the process of figuring out which food/foods we need to be aware of but I honestly believe that it is dairy/egg related. Call it gut instinct. So we shall see!

That's about it though. Looking forward to some nice weather. We have been oh so rainy. Nothing compared to what is going on up in Idaho though. I almost had to complain about my balmy 68 degrees. I do have some beautiful colors to look at too! Aidan has 3 ball games this weekend and Mattea has 1. Hopefully I will have some good pictures to put up.

Tithing

2009-01-26T11:20:00.000-08:00

I shared in my last post my tithing issues. I am very excited to share that I now "GET it." I have always understood why tithing is so important as laid out in Malachi. I hated the thought of how I have so many times robbed God! It has just made me sick. Yet I still fearfully made out the check...sometimes. So yesterday in church our pastor explained the church budget using specific numbers and it CLICKED. They have a BUDGET. I do our BUDGET. I understand things in terms of bills and I finally understand that my tithe helps our church pay bills and support missions and outreaches. They NEED our tithe to meet their monthly obligations. Do you know that I smilingly, happily, and willingly put our check in the basket? I don't know why it made such a big difference but I just get it now. God is so AWESOME that He was able to get through my thick skull in a way that I would understand. I eagerly await helping our church meet their budget as God so faithfully meets ours! Thanks for your prayers.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-07T12:26:00.000-08:00

Okay....I know most people HATE New Year's resolutions. I am amongst that lot of people. However, I do like the idea of a fresh start. Maybe this year, being older and wiser (???????), I will keep up with some of them. Now, I promise losing weight is not at the top of the list. I gave that up like 5 New Years ago! Listing these makes me feel as though I should be going to confession but I know I have only friends here. When you read this, just send a prayer heavenward and I will REALLY appreciate it. :)

Ready for my very first "confession"? The #1 "fresh start" is......TITHING. We are so blessed but I have such tight fists. It isn't Buddy at all, only me. I can't believe, having grown up tithing that I would have such a hard time writing that check twice a month. I hate the way it makes me feel when I don't do what I'm supposed to do. God has sent me very gentle reminders too. He is just so loving! I kid you not, the months I tithe we are have more than the months I don't. I just hate that I'm blatantly doing the wrong thing. Prayerfully, this year will be different.

Next up FOR SURE is paying down debt. I can not tell you how this one turns my stomach. I HATE the fact that we are not debt free. I don't count our house and I only partially count our cars but the rest...it needs to go! It will take great discipline and (gasp) budgeting but it CAN be done. I just hate that we are so blessed but can be so frivilous. GRRRRRRRRRR!

Let's see....I think after that would be something a bit more fun. :) Buddy and I are planning to plant a garden this year with the kids. Growing up we always had massive gardens which I avoided whenever I could because of all the work. Now, with children, I'm actually planning my own! It is amazing what we do for our children. The kids are so excited though and I hope I don't fail them.

Patience is scattered amongst all of these. Since I'm homeschooling Mattea and dealing with a little toddler too, I have made leaps and bounds on this one. On a side note, I set up our school room downstairs in the basement. It is lacking a few (wanted, not needed) items but since I just did our budget, those will have to wait. It is so great to be able to go downstairs, do school, and then go back upstairs. We are away from all distractions which is perfect for me. I'm terrible about trying to muli task. Mattea enjoys having my undivided attention. Not to mention all the ROOM!!! When I get things more the way I like them, I will post pictures. Oh, Aidan likes the "school room" so much that he even mentioned wanting to stay home next year! I couldn't imagine homeschooling both of them. I'm praying about it.

Alrighty then...hope you all enjoyed the confessions! Looking forward to some feedback.

6 Years

2008-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

I love this man!!! I'm so excited to have just experienced 6 great years of marriage with Buddy. I love how through everything, Christ still remains at the center of our relationship. That is how we make it happen. This year has been a busy one too. New career, new town, and bought our first home. Thankfully, no new pregnancies. :) Sorry Meg!

Ode to the SEC Championship AL vs Gators!!!

2008-12-16T14:17:00.000-08:00

Chillin' waiting for the game to start.

Oh Tim Tebow, don't fail us now!

We WON! Go GATORS!!!!

The Moving of the Spirit

2008-12-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

On Sunday night we attended our church's Christmas production, "God Speaking." It was amazing. The amount of time, effort, and talent put into it was obviously astronomical. We chose to keep Aidan and Mattea with us instead of leaving them in the baby-filled nursery. (Sorry Zane!) My friend Meghann has often spoke to me of the importance of children staying with their parents a,nd Buddy and I have started to do this with great results.

Before it started, Mattea asked us if she could walk up to the front to look at the stage. My friend Sarah was sitting with us and so I said sure figuring we could keep an eye on her even though there were a billion people. All of a sudden she disappears. We were looking for her when Sarah says, "Isn't that your daughter?" Sure enough, this glowing body with bright pigtails is bouncing across the stage. Oops!! I made Sarah go get her. :) I wasn't going up there. It was just in time too because by the time Sarah got up there, a lady was trying to coax Mattea off the stage and all you could see were pigtails bouncing as she firmly shook her head. Sarah had to drag her off. Mattea desperatly wanted to sing and dance up on stage. Hopefully next year!!!

During the program, one of the songs was "Mary, did you know?" Most of you know what a moving song it is and they had set it to scenes from "The Passion." They showed a tasteful amount of the movie, portraying what was needed and one scene it showed Christ on the ground, bloody, and being beaten. Mattea sat straight up and with a gasp said, "What are they DOING to Him?!" She was horrified. I quietly explained as best I could and she, with tears running down her cheeks, asked why He had to die? I again explained and she just sat back and watched, still with tears. Later, they had a scene where a homeless man was led to a makeshift manger by an orphan girl who was to portray Mary with her babydoll as Jesus. (I told you, it was AMAZING.) She left him at the manger and he was sitting in front of it with his head down, sobbing. Mattea whispered anxiously why he was crying. I told her it was because he needed Jesus in his heart. She cried and said "Why doesn't he ask Jesus in his heart? He needs Jesus, Mommy! Can we help him? Please, Mommy, he NEEDS Jesus." Buddy and I were a mess. Her heart was so heavy. It was incredible to watch the Spirit move and yet so painful at the same time. She sat in rapt attention as Pastor Bruce gave the invitation. When we were in the car on the way home, she sat quietly (a miracle in itself) the whole way home still crying silently. When we got home, we asked her why she was so sad. She said because she didn't want Jesus to have to die. Aidan, ever the optimist and little logic, told her that Jesus only had to die once and that it was over now. He was alive so its okay. Mattea then tearfully begged me to pray to God and ask Him to help her know that Jesus was okay and that He was alive. Of course we immediatly prayed over her asking that God reveal Himself to her and comfort her. A few minutes later, she came to us with a big smile saying "I can feel God put His arms around me! I know that Jesus is alive and God told me. I'm so happy!" She went to bed with a smile on her face.

Words can not express what it feels like to know that God has used Buddy and I to position our children to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. We have often prayed that our children would come to accept Christ at an early age and I am believing that it will happen. I believe, with them being in the 3rd generation of christians that there is a special blessing on them. Thank you Father for allowing us to be used by You in bringing Your babies closer to You.

2008-12-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

Switching from Fall to Christmas!!!

Sorry...but I LOVE prelit fake trees. I'm such a traitor. :)

My tree putter-upper hero.

I know there is alot of controversy amongst Christians on the celebration of a "secular" christmas. We, however, have yet to be convicted by the Holy Spirit on specific celebratory details. This is how our pastor puts it; "In essentials we have unity. In non-essentials we have liberty but in all things we have charity, or love." Until we are led in one direction or another, we will remain sensitive to the moving of the Spirit and respectful of how others celebrate.

We have felt a strong conviction in one area though. A deep disgust at the gluttony of todays generation has been particulary overpowering this holiday season. A dear friend of ours has 4 children and has shared this with us. If 3 gifts were good enough for Baby Jesus, it is good enough for us. I love that! We have prepared our children for that and they really have a good understanding of what Christmas is about. We are also undertaking several charitable programs this season. We are going through the kids things and they are anxious for their toys to go to the "right boy or girl." I refuse to let our children get sucked into the wastfulness and "gimmes" that this time of year brings. It turns my stomach when I hear of some children's wishlists. Literally thousands of dollars can be dropped in no time at all. Yet ask them to give something up and one would think they had been asked to cut off their right arm. DISGUSTING. We use this time of year, as a teaching tool. As christians, we are simply making the best out of any given situation.

Finally some fun!

2008-10-26T11:14:00.001-07:00

Bumble Bee coming at you!

I just love her cheeks!

If only Zane's eyes were open. :(

Mattea is definitly in her element with the face painting!

Zane just happens to be the most adorable dragon ever!

Mattea really was having fun. This is just her "prickly pear" look. (Thanks Terah for that perfect description!)

I know these are obviously out of order but I have yet to figure out how to arrange them. All 5 of us had the flu for 7, yes 7, straight days and we finally decided to have some much needed fun. Thank God we are finally better.

I'm so INSPIRED!

2008-10-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

Aidan attends a wonderful christian school called Coosa Christian. It is apart of the church Crosspoint Community of which we are members. Before we moved here, God led me to this school online and also to the church. We are so happy and thankful for being able to be apart of such a great community. I attend bible study there also.

Back to Aidan though...I love it because they use the ABEKA curriculum. I know it is extremely accelerated for which I'm thankful. He is in K4 and already learning cursive and how to read. His teacher, Ms. Higgins, told me today that he has turned out to be one of the best behaved children in her class and also believes that if he continues on the path he is on, he will be in her top reading group. WOW. Buddy and I pray everyday that God would instill in Aidan a peaceful and loving spirit that only Jesus Christ can produce. I have found that God is so faithful to answer our prayers! Aidan is not only responsive academically but with his character. What a blessing.

We started to put Mattea in the same school in K2 but ran into some issues. The main one being that she HATED IT! I thought for sure that she would love it. Last year when we would take Aidan to school, she always found a way to sneak into his class and try to stay. This year, she was thrilled when we enrolled her. But her first (and final) week was so TRAUMATIC. She was miserable. Do you know, I made it 4 days. The last day I took her she had her usual crying episode. (I was not used to these because not once had Aidan ever fought me to go. He LOVES going to school.) I took her to the bathroom to simply speak to her and I lifted my hand up, palm out to indicate for her to stop crying. She looked at me and then at my hand. She put her little hand up against mine and then just LOOKED at me. I finally got her to class but when I got to the car, I remembered something my mom always told me. "When you get tempted to expect too much out of your children, take their little hands and put them in yours. Look and SEE just how tiny theirs are compared to yours." It was then I realised it just was not worth it. She is 3 years old! I withdrew her that day. I collected the books I had already ordered for her and decided, since she loves doing school, that she would be my homeschooler. Mattea loves to be social, but I have found, that she isn't good with too much. She does love to be home. I have found that I don't mind at all!! In fact I love it.

This leads me to today. I'm so excited. God has brought me a home school buddy! My new friend Amber also has three children although hers are younger. Her oldest is just a little younger than Mattea. Amber and I are definitely kindred spirits. We both raise our children on Baby Wise and Growing Kids God's Way. We have decided that 2 days a week we will be schooling her daughter Cadence and Mattea together! We will be using a set curriculum and following a schedule. I do believe that God has put us together that we may sharpen each other for two are definitely better that one. I'm very much looking forward to seeing our girls grow in wisdom. I know they are young but it is really never too early to start and I have already seen how much Mattea loves being kept busy.

I'm very thankful that I serve such a loving and gracious God that He hears me even when I ask something on what I believe is such a miniscual scale. He is so personal and loving! I wanted to include the prayer that I found online and pray over my children everyday. (Ok, most days. ) I always see a huge difference when I remember to do it!

Praying For The Children
Acts 19:20.........I thank you Father that Your Word prevails over our children.
Isa 54:13...........That they are taught of the Lord and continue to be
Prov 13:1.......... the fruit of godly instruction and correction.
Isa 54:13...........Great is their peace and undisturbed composure.
Prov 2:6............ Father, give us counsel and wisdom in bringing up our children.
1Pet 1:14.......... I say they are obedient, not conforming to the things of the flesh,
1Pet 1:15.......... but holy, in all conduct.
1Pet 2:2........... desiring the pure milk of the Word that they may grow thereby.Jas 1:19............That they are swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.
Heb 13:5.......... Their conduct is without covetousness,
Heb 13:5.......... and they are content with what they have.
Heb 13:16......... They do not forget to do what is right and to share.
2Pet 3:18.......... I pray that they grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord,
1Thes 4:1......... and abound more and more in how they should walk and please You.
1Pet 5:5........... That they submit to their elders, and to one another,
1Pet 5:5........... being clothed with humility.
1Pet 5:7........... That they cast their cares upon You, Father, for You care for them.
Jas 1:22............I thank You that they are doers of the Word, and not hearers only,
Ph'm 1:6...........effectively sharing their faith.
2Tim 1:7 ..........not having a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
2Tim 1:9...........Father, You have saved them and called them with a holy calling,
2Tim 1:9 ..........not according to works, but according to Your own purpose.
2Tim 4:18.........Deliver them from every evil work and preserve them.
John 10:5 ........They will by no means follow strangers, not knowing their voices. 2Tim2:22 .........They abide with others who call on the Lord out of a pure heart,
Jas 3:10 ..........and cursing comes not out of their mouth.
1Jn 5:18 ..........Because Jesus keeps them safe, the wicked one does not touch them.
Ps 91:11..........Give Your angels special charge to accompany, defend, preserve
Ps 4:8.............and provide safety for them, day and night.
1Jn 2:5 ...........Because they keep Your Word, Your love is being perfected in them.
1Jn 2:15 .........They do not love the world or the things in the world,
3Jn 1:11..........and they do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.
1Jn 1:7 ...........They walk in the light as You are in the Light,
Jas 4:8 ...........cleansing their hands and purifying their hearts,
2Tim 2:22 .......They follow after righteousness, faith, love, and peace.
Heb 13:18........They have a good conscience and desire to live honorably,
Prov 3:4 ..........having favor and high esteem with God and man.

I know is long but I have found it to be such a beautiful prayer.

Some frustrations of small town living

2008-10-08T11:11:00.000-07:00

We moved to Gadsden about 5 months ago following God's very clear leading. We knew without a shadow of a doubt that Buddy was to detach from the Navy and Gadsden, Alabama was where we were supposed to live. I did look forward to moving here because it is a small town and I really missed that feeling, after growing up in Sandpoint, Idaho. There are so many wonderful things about living in a town where everyone knows everyone. I thought it would be a delightful change of scenery. Plus, not being military anymore, I looked forward to getting to know "civillians" again. There were several things that I didn't take into consideration though and it has become very disturbing.

You wouldn't believe how many people I have met that are predjudice! Yes, predjudice. As in against other races and ethnic groups. I don't know how many times I have been having a normal conversation with someone about something, such as a school, and the comment is made; "it was a perfectly fine school until we started getting more black people then, well, you know, it kind of went down hill." ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? My friend Sarah, who I knew in California, lives here and she warned me. Foolish me thought she was exaggerating. Totally not at all! Then, foolish me again thought that I would have some sort of pat answer ready for when (if) someone ever said anything to me. Whatever! I couldn't even pick my chin up off the floor to come back with anything even remotely close to clever or anything at all! I was completely floored. I just want to scream "You stupid, ignorant, REDNECK." But that wouldn't be very christian, now would it?

The other thing that has been frustrating is somewhat understandable but still irritating. Alot of people around here have known each other for most of their lives and have a tough time branching out and welcoming a new person/family. They are all quick with their southern hospitality but that ends when the plate of freshly baked "welcome" cookies gets left on the doorstep. After that, its like..."do I know you?"

I know this sounds like a gripe session; maybe it is. I was just surprised at how some people around here behave. Ok, shocked. It makes me realise even more how I want to raise our children and how careful I have to be about what is being said around them that could influence them one way or the other.

Something Different

2008-10-08T07:26:00.001-07:00

This seems a popular way to keep up some people's writing skills and fulfilling other's blatant curiosity. (Yes, I admit, I would be one of THOSE people....the curious one.) I have felt my brain becoming rather mushy lately. Not that parenting doesn't keep me on my toes but I need something to focus on occasionally besides the everyday chaos! You will have to forgive me while I learn to navigate a new site. I'm looking forward to this new and creative outlet!