Such a sad day.

Yesterday, I realised my wedding ring was lost. I had put it in a glass jewlery box on my dresser Friday night around midnight as I was coming down with the flu. I didn't even think about it until yesterday morning when I went to put it on. We believe that our 3 year old daughter, Mattea, took it and lost it. She says she touched it but doesn't know where it is. I called Buddy hysterical and he came home from work to help search for it and to try and get answers from the children. The day was long but beneficial~I got a lot of cleaning and organizing done. Last night though, I sat to read my Bible and to collect my thoughts on the day and rubbing my burning, swollen eyes, I realised something.

My sad day was not from the loss of my ring, although the pain of it was truelly horrible. The pain is from my reaction. I have always strived to teach my children that our possessions are Gods; everything we have is because of Him; one day, its all going to burn anyway; your worth is from God, not from things. I did nothing but prove to my children that mommy, at least yesterday, was a big fat liar. God dealt "harshly" with me this morning when reading
ICorinthians 3:12-23. The general idea is that Paul is talking about whether a man builds his foundation of gold, silver, costly stones (MY DIAMOND), etc, his work will be shown when put through the fire, testing the quality of it. If what he builds, survives, he gets his reward and if it burns, he suffers the loss. I was the one suffering a loss, not of the ring but of a battle. I succumbed to my failings as a sinner and allowed Satan to deceive me into thinking that I was less of a person because I didn't have my beautiful ring. My possessions were more important than the fact that its all GODS! He then goes on to talk about our bodies being the temple and then on to those who think they are wise. At this point, I really thought I couldn't take anymore. I have always "prided" myself on how I handle things. Well, this one was for me because I became (or realised that I was) a FOOL.

I mishandled everything yesterday. My hurt and anger toward my 3 year old. My weeping. My pride in my possession. I pray that the Holy Spirit give me the words to give my kids. I pray that they are able to learn from my mistake of putting too much value on something material. I never want my kids, especially my daughter, to think that their worth lies in "costly stones" but know that their worth comes in their salvation, as does mine. I was uncontrollably weeping yesterday but for many of the wrong reasons. I compared the loss to loosing a loved one. How dare I? In the face of adversity I hand my children the wrong blueprint.

Oh the sad day we had yesterday. I pray today, that God puts a new song in my heart and on my lips. I have some damage to undo.